Thoughts today

For one thing, my Dad had prostate surgery on Ramsey's birthday over a week ago, and I still haven't heard from him.  Mandy says he is doing fine and checks on him, but still.  I am worried and hurt and a lot of things.

Another thing, we didn't get a tree this year.  We're overwhelmed, and as lame as it will surely look later, it feels totally justified.  I hope the kids don't notice.  Sorry guys.  Last year was our first year having a tree.  One year out of seven years of marriage--a very dismal track record.  It's all bah-humbug here--no lights, no decorations.  Again, sorry kids.  We really are excited about Christmas and most of our shopping is done, and we've been reading about the true meaning of Christmas.  We can't wait to enjoy the Millers' tree when we get to Florida next week.

Growing up, we ALWAYS decorated the tree right after Thanksgiving Day, and my Mom had us all participate, even when I was a surly teenager and impossible.  I think she told me (many times) that someday I would appreciate it, and I'm not sure I really do, in the sense that I am not into decorating and have no interest in it.  However, I do at least see how dedicated she was and appreciate the traditions she worked so hard to keep every year.  I cannot believe she kept that up for so many years.  Go Mom!

Tonight is Matt's last class.  For his Masters Degree in Economics.  He gets home around 11 on nights like this, and then wakes up the next morning for his "big boy" job where he solves everyone's problems and endures some intense pressure.  This guy has been working his butt off for years.  YEARS!  I am so proud of him, and of me and the kids.  We miss him, but are grateful to participate in this sacrifice for education.  It has been a serious sacrifice for all, but especially him.

Tonight the kids and I took dinner to the missionaries in our new ward, and on the way home the Beastie Boys' "Whatcha Want" came on the radio.  Ramsey told me she wanted the song up really loud.  I turned it up, and she said she wanted it louder.  She is definitely her parents' child!  I sang along and the kids were giggling at the different sounds from the turntables and synthesizer and asked a lot of interesting questions (like, what made that sound, tell me about it).  I might have mentioned it before, but Ramsey and Beck also request Queen's Bohemian Rhapsody often (they call it Mamma Mia).  They love this song and Beck sings it a lot.  He is pretty good with lyrics.  He sings Beck's (the recording artist) "E-Pro" often and other songs I listen to when it's time for grown-up music on Pandora.  Beck was not named after Beck the recording artist, but man Beck the recording artist is pretty awesome.  Beck also likes Thom Yorke's "Lotus Flower" music video.  It really is pretty hilarious, but who knows if it is meant to be.

As an aside, last year I played Rock Band at Rob's house with many in the Warner family and had a blast.  I showed off and hogged all of the attention, and even the kids were so nice about it.  I try not to feel embarrassed when I think about it and just embrace how sweet these Warners are, and last year was very rough with my family and they were so there for me without necessarily realizing it.  One of the songs I sang was "Whatcha Want" and it was SO FUN.  I really thought I was meant to be a rockstar when I was a teenager.  The problem was I am a terrible singer and have no musical talent, other than the ability to memorize and recite lyrics fairly easily.  We also played some dancing game and it was really such a good time and I have such a strong memory of that time together with my extended family, while not perfect, that treats me so good.

I am now halfway there--20 weeks pregnant.  We have a sonogram scheduled for next week, but we are not finding out the gender of the baby this time around.  We found out with Ramsey and Beck, but this time we thought we'd save the surprise for the delivery room.  Hopefully there won't be any slip ups and we can stay strong!  But, this means we need to come up with at least two names.  This will be challenging.  To say I am excited about this baby is the understatement of the year.  I AM SO THRILLED!